Testimony: It doesn't make sense to doubt GOD

How do you deal with doubts about religion? There have been times over the last few years where I began to feel creeping doubts about certain aspects of religion. I didn't have the conviction or the guts to start to question GOD, but there were some nagging questions that began to buzz around my head. Since then, my relationship with GOD has been solidified. How do you talk about the things of GOD to a man who is using logic and common sense to question it? The Bible said that Godly things are foolishness to man. In fact, even in the Bible, it discusses oppositions of science...to which it added "falsely so called". How do you talk about religion to someone who questions the Bible as being the final authority?


First of all, there isn't any reason why man's logic has to disposed of when discussing Christianity. The bible said people would doubt, and that people would call Christians crazy. The secret to being strong in GOD is reading the Bible. Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of GOD. The bible warns against being conformed to this world, telling you to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. The bible tells us to put on the "new man". We don't fit in, we're strangers in a strange land. The bible has accurately predicted the carnal man's mind, and his reactions to the thought of a Divine Jesus. The bible will prove him BECAUSE it says what man would think of Jesus. But, what happens when you don't believe the Bible anymore?

The people who question the Bible are the ones not spending time reading and studying it. I can speak that from PERSONAL experience, not from judging the walk of other people. People live their lives in the world and they don't spend time with God. They become weak and lose their way in life, and then start questioning Christianity. It's like a bodybuilder, who trains and eats a strict diet and tells everyone how he stays in shape. Then, he quits, and his body turns flabby. 2 years later, he says that the exercise and the diet doesn't work because he turned flabby, became weak, and he sees a lot of overweight people in the world. Obviously, he quit and became weak, ate junk food, and fell back. That didn't mean the diet and exercise was faulty, or that protein shakes are a myth. Who is he to tell us that weightlifting is pointless? If he was doing it, he wouldn't think it was pointless, because he would be a powerful man. If anything, the change in his life due to refraining from working out PROVES that it works. He didn't change because he kept doing what was working for him, did he?

Your mind slips back into the old ways, and your peaceful experience with God seems like a strange phenomenon that you can barely remember, instead of a life altering experience. Jesus talked about the word as being the seed...and some of it fell on rocks, and some in thorns, and some on good ground. Some grew, but collapsed because of the lack of roots. We cut ourselves off, with our eyes wide open...and we fill ourselves with worldly books, intelligensia, and entertainment. Then, we start looking at Christianity like it failed us in some way. It didn't hold up. It couldn't keep up. Churches hold much of the blame. However, Churches are filled with people...who ALSO don't read their Bibles...and the Churches are doomed to making mistakes. We're all flawed and we all make mistakes, but people hold Churches to a standard of perfection. The Church, as a whole, is sick. I don't know how much better it's going to get before the end times approach. However, there is a lot of good that Churches do, and a lot of comfort that they provide. There have been untold of millions of people who will spend an eternity in peace because of the people in Church. GOD didn't call us to take care of ourselves and let everyone fend for themselves. GOD is love. We are to act in love. We can discern the intentions of other people (people who are in churches) when looking at their actions through the prism of love.

Do some people in Church do things to be seen? Yeah. However, if you want to do something good, and you feel lead to do so and so, and you DON'T do it BECAUSE you don't want to be seen...then, that's not good either. We all need to relax and realize that we're not the judge, or the jury, and we're not in control. We've all got a walk to walk, and a lonesome valley to travel down one day. If God is leading somebody to buy someone in New York City a house....who am I to judge the man who serves God. Who are we to judge another man's servant? We can't see the big picture. We don't know what that man in New York is going wind up doing. We're not qualified to judge the gifts and actions of others.

Mature Christianity is reached (this is just me talking) when we've reached peace in our lives and understand our role in the world. I've gotten to the point to where I don't hold anyone higher, or lower, than myself. I don't hold anyone to a higher standard. Why? Because I have done things since I became a Christian that I didn't think I was capable of doing...pretty bad things. I love God, and I'm not perfect. I can't be perfect any more than the Jewish people of the Old Testament. We're all in this together. We need each other's help in the world. You can live a Godly life, and maybe even serve your purpose here on Earth, by walking on your walk with him and never going to Church. Personally, I believe GOD wants us to be active. He wants us to act when he gives us an opening. He wants us to know his voice, and to take action when we hear it. We cut ourselves off from GOD, and when we don't see him, we doubt his existence. I know GOD is good, and he's just, and he's more forgiving, and he's more loving, and he's smarter, and he's more wise....than I am. People die prematurely, and babies are stillborn, and people ask how a loving GOD could let that happen? I say, "I know GOD is more loving, compassionate, merciful, knowledgeable, etc...but if I were GOD, I would have saved that baby. I'm not GOD. I don't know why the baby died. I know, however, that GOD is in control. I know that baby's spirit is going to be taken care of, and won't have an opportunity to go to Hell. We should all be so blessed". If we consider that scenario from a logical point of view...the world works, too. The devil works, too. People drive drunk and get killed. People swim in the ocean and are bitten by sharks. I can purposely thwart the will of GOD for my life, and keep him out of it altogether. In the end, the sacrifice of Jesus will stand as a witness against us, instead of being for us.

As far as the Bible goes, the book of Job became a hard one for me. It almost didn't seem to fit what I HAD ALREADY DECIDED SPIRITUAL REALITY IS LIKE. The bible warned about adding and subtracting to it...and I wondered if someone was going to be in deep trouble for adding this book. However, I can't imagine why GOD would have allowed it to be in there when he didn't want it to be in there. Job is the oldest book in the Bible, and I believe it was divinely written that way to teach the people of the time. They needed it written a certain way. That doesn't make it any less significant. In fact, Job has become a stumbling block to people to question the Bible's authenticity.

When it's all said and done, we can't prove GOD to anyone. We can't prove the bible. We can't prove Jesus. There is one way for us to truly spread the word of GOD if someone can't believe the Bible......and that is through our testimony. You can convict someone in the courts due to testimony of other people. It's a logical means of proving someone that the judge didn't see.


I'm incapable of doubting GOD or the Bible in any way, because I was given a gift.

I've told almost everyone close to me the following story. I decided years ago to treat it like the gift it was, and so I take care of it. I keep it to myself...precious...until the times that GOD presents me an opening to share it. When GOD provides me with an opening and permission, I quickly rush in and tell my testimony as best I can. GOD can give us the gift of salvation through our belief in Jesus as son of the living GOD. Jesus said he is the resurrection, and the life. GOD gives us faith, and we can use it to believe in him. GOD gave me something very special to me. GOD gave me proof. Given my arrogance and doubting nature, I'm afraid I might have really needed this proof one day if the world had me down and I felt lost. If I didn't have it...I might have began to wonder (in my darkest and most fearful places) if GOD really exists, or if we're some kind of cosmic accident. Thank GOD, I can never let myself wonder. I have faith. Not blind faith, but proof that I can sink my teeth into when the going gets rough. I can never even let clouds of doubt float around my head because of the testimony that I'm about to share with you.

It was Summer of 1995. My freshman year at the University of Georgia had just ended, and I was working nights for C.W.Matthews....weighing out milling trucks at a quarry in a bad part of Atlanta. The pay was decent for the time, but there were a lot of hours to go along with it. There were periods of time where the trucks wouldn't come by very often, and I would become very restless. I began to bring an old portable TV and my Bible. I could watch old ECW wrestling really early in the morning on certain nights, but that was about it. It was hot and humid, and I wasn't very good at sleeping in the daytime, so I was frequently exhausted. Mostly, I read my Bible with my spare time. I was already a Christian, having been saved years earlier. I read my Bible every night, and prayed every night. My walk with GOD was stronger than it's ever been in my whole life. I was making money, and feeling good about my future. There is a certain peace you have when your walk with GOD is in a comfortable place...happy and wanting nothing. I was getting strong faith, as faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of GOD. I prayed for GOD to show me my path, and I told him that I was willing to follow wherever he would lead me. I was his son, and I asked him to speak to me. It was a precious time, looking back on it.

We worked a lot of nights at C.W. Matthews during that Summer. I believe Sunday night was the only night we had off. I got off really late on a Sunday morning one day, and I decided to make it to my church for service. I had just been up all night, but I decided I could wait another couple of hours before sleeping. I drove my old 1977 yellow Camaro from Atlanta to Clayton Baptist Full Gospel Church just outside of Waleska, Ga. The Reverend Keith Graham was our interim preacher. He was a powerful man of GOD, who had an authority like few people I had ever met. Not that I had talked to him much, but you could just feel the energy from the man. I slipped in the back right after church began, and really enjoyed the service. At the end, he was calling for people to come and be prayed for, and a few people had came up, but not a large amount. There was a song playing on the piano, as Brother Keith paced from one side of the church to the other, behind the pulpit, as we did our usual mediocre job of singing. He was walking and ducking his head down, almost like he was straining to hear someone speak (the Holy Ghost, as it turns out). Every so often, he would stop and go down to pray for someone. After a few seconds, he would walk back up to the front and continue pacing....listening. It continued like this few several minutes and we changed songs and continued our slow singing.

I remember thinking, "I wish he would pray for me...I wish he had something for me". I bowed my head, and prayed the following words...."GOD...please speak to me today"

BOOM!!! The instant I prayed it, I felt a surge of energy explode up through me, straightening my back and giving me a very warm sensation emanating through my chest and stomach. It was shocking. As soon as I felt the heat, I heard the words spoke into my head "Go up and have him pray for you". I didn't "hear" the words...it was like it was my own thought but I didn't think it and hadn't been thinking it before...and it was talking TO me. I stood there...dazed...stunned.... in disbelief. I couldn't make myself move, I was so shy and nervous. I didn't want to go up there all of a sudden. So, I fought it off. I started questioning it. I started wondering if it was my imagination. Slowly and gradually, the warmth faded away. The whole incident probably took 10 seconds. I was really perplexed, and decided that the incident was just ME wanting GOD to speak to me. I was determined NOT to just proceed forth out of my own desires...I wanted to be directed.

As the song continued, I prayed, "GOD, I'm sorry about that....please, speak to me today". BOOM!!! Just like before, I felt the tremendous warmth and the words "Go up and have him pray for you" spoken into my head. I was really stunned this time. I knew it had to be GOD, but part of me was still in disbelief. I waited. I questioned, and I waited. Finally, after a few seconds, the feeling went away. Again.

At this point, I was dumbfounded. I didn't know what to do. So, I prayed again. I prayed the same thing. I said, "GOD...please speak to me today". BOOM!!! The exact same thing happened again. Warmth, and the "Go up and have him pray for you". I was looking around, panicking. Brother Keith continued his pacing and praying, the congregation continued singing...while I was having a war back there on the back pew. This was the 3rd time in about 40 seconds that I had just experienced a supernatural sensation. Like the other times, I was too stunned. I let my fear hold my feet down. I was waiting for the warmth to quit. I was fighting off the holy spirit. I was grieving him. Like the other 2 times...I fought him off. The warmth went away. It had just happened 3 times in a row.

I was completely deflated and defeated. I was letting myself doubt GOD, but I knew deep down that it was the Holy Spirit trying to guide me. He was being clear, too. So many times, we think GOD is hard to follow and understand. Jesus said that my sheep hear my voice. We think he's hard to hear BECAUSE we don't listen. We don't read our Bibles and we don't sit and wait on him.

Anyway, I didn't know what to do. So, did the same thing again. I prayed, "GOD..please speak to me today". BOOM!! Just like the other times, it was warmth and heat, with the words "Go up and have him pray for you" spoken into my head. At this point, I was a quivering shell. I was openly disobeying GOD. I had gotten what I wanted. He was speaking to me. I doubted, and stood there, and didn't move. I knew it was GOD, and I refused to budge. Like the other 3 times, the heat faded away. 4 times in a row.

Brother Keith continued. I stood. The congregation sang. The piano played. I waited. I was almost scared to pray it a 5th time in a row. Fortunately, although I was disobedient....I was also stubborn. I prayed the same prayer, for the 5th time in a row. I said, "GOD..please speak to me today".


This time, the instant I prayed it...Brother Keith stopped dead in his tracks, and he peered into the congregation, and our eyes met. He pointed his finger at me and said, "Young Man". The congregation parted, as everyone turned to look at me and to stay out of Brother Keith's line of sight. I still remember seeing every one's face..shocked....maybe partly glad it wasn't them and partly wishing it was them. I froze. I was excited, but I froze. I thought I was about to be rescued. I thought, this is finally it. The other 4 things really WERE my imagination. When he spoke to me, with the authority of our heavenly father, it wasn't all happy with sunshine and rainbows. There was a little bit of a tone of chastisement in there.

Here is what Brother Keith said to me....

"Young Man...........the Lord told me to tell you that Once...twice....three, and yet FOUR TIMES...he spoke to your heart. His hand is on you. He has breathed upon you. You need to surrender, even if you don't understand. Jesus came so that you might have life, and have it more abundantly. GOD...I pray that you remove every doubt". He prayed in tongues for a few seconds, and then it was over.

With that, he continued his pacing. The next several minutes were a blur. I remember driving down the road, with my hands fixed on "10 and 2" and my mouth agape, reliving the whole episode as the realization was settling in on me.


No matter where I go in life, I take this testimony with me. I can never doubt GOD. I can never doubt that there is a GOD. Here are the things that I can swear to, here and for the rest of my life:

There is a GOD. He has a son named Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ was born of a virgin, to die for our sins...to pay the price that had to be paid in order for man to be forgiven. Whoever believes in Jesus Christ shall not perish, but have everlasting life.

Brother Keith's prayer has been fruitful. GOD removed every doubt. I can never let the world get me down and cause me to question my faith, even for a second. Because, I was blessed with this experience. It is fact, and it's just as true as the fact that I'm sitting here right now. If anyone reading this ever has a doubt, maybe even in a secret place that you don't want to admit you have, then take this story with you. I swear..it happened. Jesus is real. The Bible is real.

The whole thing is real.